The Past: A Satanic Rattlesnake
My Name Will No Longer Be refered to As Rattler, Although My Email still is....Rattler Was under my Sadistic Name, My Real Name is Mark Mance....And Before I go any further in this Blog I have some stuff to say and I hope you will all Listen:
My Childhood sucked, I Was picked on in school....Basically I was an Outcast, Highschool Was Particularlly Rough on me....It was during 10th Grade I began Developing What It now seems to be the early Signs of OCD "Obsessive Cumpulsave Disorder" or Maybe its BDD "Body Dysmorphic Disorder", They are both similar in ways....This is why People call me "Basement Boy", because it's true Today I Hardly go out, I have no Life.....Because this Disorder has gotten so Bad I have taken it out on Capping as an obsession, and I Have taken it out on alot of other people who I wronged, This Disorder is So Bad I have literally Pulled my hair out and even Cried at times....Yes Cried, Go ahead and Laugh...People Like Rocky741, Malone, Donkeed, BPM, Braniac, Pool, Iceman, Brettfan, Databastard I have all wronged them by putting the blame on them for my own Disability, Today I'm still living at home even at 28 with no job, no friends, never had a Girlfriend because I think I'm too ugly to date.
The Future: A Hopeful Recovery Process
Since June I have been to the Dr's and Have went to seek Help For my Disability, I Have also Recently been Put on 3 diffrent kinds of medications, The Doctor Says usually it takes 3 months or so to really see some Improvements, So Hopefully it works out for the best, God Willing I can overcome this obsticle in my life....And I Know alot of People out there Still and will forever dispise me, I just wanted you all to know Exactly why I was what I was, My Disorder was making Me Upset about myself and as the years went on I started taking it out on everyone else...For the Longest time when I looked in the Mirror I thought and yet still do feel like the Ugliest thing on Earth, My parents don't think so, but its set in my own mind that its there and thats what the meds are for to help change my perception of myself....I Don't Expect any Forgiveness like I said, My actions Spoke Volumes over the years and when my Disorder got worse so Did I...Oddly Enough and I truthfully am Not making this Up my eyes are watering up as I speak, Basically....I Don't want to be the "Bad Guy" Anymore....And Hopefully With these meds The Sadistic Rattler Will be Dead and Buried forever! Thank You For Reading!
3 comments:
I wish you the best Mark on beginning the road to recovery. It won't be easy but if you are willing to stay on it and work hard on yourself you will be successful. - Braniac
Good luck, Mark - I have several mental/emotional issues myself, and so I know what you're going through. - Bob
Me too Bob and Mark. I spent 2 years in a psychiatric hospital for OCD and rage and suicidal behavior. It took electroshock therapy and lots of drugs but I am mostly better now. I still want to click my mouse only and even number of times and want every sentence to have an even number of letters but I and getting over that too.
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